Surviving the Storm

Hearing, or discovering your partner or spouse has had an affair is a truly gut wrenching moment in life. One that far too many have had to endure. Not only does the betrayal cut deep into your psyche, but the questions it can raise about yourself are also challenging. Did I deserve this? What did I do wrong? These questions, whether we admit it or not, creep into our mind and take root.

There are ways to begin healing in a relationship, let’s discuss three steps to begin the process.


Let Your Feelings Come.

It can be a natural response to shove your feelings back to some dark corner of your mind, but it is definitely not the healthiest. Let your emotions come as they will, and give each one a name. If you are feeling anger, label it, if you feel embarrassment, name that too. There are no wrong emotions, it is how you express it that counts. Repression can have serious side effects both physically and emotionally down the line.

Let Someone Help.

Hard as it might be to tell someone about the troubles you are facing, it is vital to have a support system in place. Whether that person is a family, friend, or professional, having an ear to listen is a major step to healing in a relationship. Some prefer a close friend or family member, because they are more familiar. While others want an unbiased, and professional guidance during this time. Neither are bad options, in fact, both are ideal. As long as you’re getting it out to someone.

Take Time for Yourself.

This may seem like a difficult task depending on your situation. Some do not have the means for a hotel, while others have kids to think about. However, it is important to find time to extract yourself from the environment for a few days. In the middle of a tense home, it can be hard to think clearly, never mind logically. Find a friend or family member that may not mind the company of yourself, and children if you have any. Even a couple of nights can provide time to plan your next move, or decide how to proceed.


There is no denying that this will most likely be one of the most stressful times of your life. Remember to take the time to do what needs to be done to keep your mental health secure. There is no manual, but these steps can help to ensure you take the steps in the right direction.


Check out this helpful ebook with healing in a relationship: